Thursday, March 04, 2021

Bullies suffer from inferiority complex

Dear Ujie,

You know why they hated us so much?

Because we were different, most times we are way better than them. We don't conform to their cookie-cutter ideal, so they feel intimidated by it, tak tercapai kalau nak ikut, tak terlawan nak ditanding, so they resort to what make them feel bigger, by bullying and putting us down.

Sama saja the boys, those yang bullied and called you names, sebab depa rasa threatened by you, or more likely some had a crush on you tapi tak tau nak buat apa, so started teasing you and that got out of hand, benda tak elok ni cepat orang ikut.

As for the teachers, apart from one or two sadistic ones, the rest are more comfortable listening and believing 'cerita' from those yang depa rasa depa boleh faham compared to those like you and I, it's simpler for them to label the likes of us as troublemaker and bad influence dari nak siasat the truth. 

These bullies put us down, bully us to break us, so that we either conform or we breakdown and lose who we are meant be. I had to stop letting those cruel things and bad episodes define me, otherwise I wouldn't be able to grow and be happy with my life. 

If I'm going to be sad, I want it to be because of my own mistake or tragedy, not something bullies inflicted on me out of their own insecurities years ago. I  don't want them to live in my head rent-free, and parasitically destroying my fabulous self. 

It wasn't easy Ujie, at times they do pop up and screw me up, but hey! I'm not going to let them control my life anymore. 

Remember I told you how I met some of those bullies and realized how sad they look now? Bukan dah jadi supervillian ka apa pun, just a sad looking makcik who will not even be a quarter of who we are today.

Jiwa depa sakit, that's why depa buat semua tu kat kita, kalau depa normal like they think they are, they wouldn't have done all those things, so toksah menyakitkan jiwa dan diri kita lagi sebab depa sakit jiwa. 

Nak minta depa apologize? What will that get us? Lega? Puas hati? Rasa terbela? All bullying will stop? Silap silap lepas depa dah apologies satni kita dok fikir pulak, depa ikhlas ka minta maaf, or depa do so just to make fun of us, hence the vicious cycle continues. 35 years later they are still 'bullying' us, only this time we are enabling them, giving them the power to do so. We have suffered long enough to let them continue doing that. Imagine the great things that we are meant to achieve and know that it's not too late to achieve it.

Panjang dah aku merepek ni. Hugs to you Ujie, insyaallah soon all these will just be a bad memory that will no longer haunt you, and me.

Love you.

Thursday, February 25, 2021

Wake me up from this nightmare

My beautiful manja girl crossed the rainbow bridge suddenly and unexpectedly while in my arms at 1230am as we were rushing her to the clinic just now.


She gave me 453 days of unconditional love, a cat that turned up at our gate one day and chose me as her person, clinging to me every second she sees me, sleeping on my chest, back and side every opportunity she gets, pulling my hand so that she can use it as a pillow as she sleeps by my side on the bed, nibbling on my fingers if I try to pull away. Constantly pulling up her body unto my chest to kiss my face,  jumping onto my lap to make cookies just like she did the first day I saw her in our garden. There's no denying it was love at the first sight for both of us.


That's 1 year, 2 months and 25 days that she filled our lives with joy and love. Never have I felt this much love and affection from a cat.


Everything happened so quick, she looked like she was recovering well from the simple procedure, this afternoon she was beginning to eat and using the litter box, then by nightfall she has started to become restless, and everything just went downhill by 1130pm.


Goodbye darling Cleopatra Grey, thank you for everything you've brought into our lives. We love you so much Theo, my beautiful  manja girl. Thank you for choosing me and our home, for allowing us to care and love you. Thank you for letting Uncle, Jaddu, Jeddah, Abang H, Abang Q and Shereen share the love too.


Latte is going to miss you so much Cleo, she had a very confused look just now when she saw me cradling your lifeless body, she was sniffing you and looking at me, like she's asking what's going on.


I'm devastated. We are all heartbroken. 


I'm still waiting to wake up from this nightmare.


Till we meet again in heaven.


Cleopatra Grey

2019 - 25 February 2021

Monday, August 10, 2020

How to Clean Dirty Copper Pots & Pans

Got this french vintage copper pan along with a couple of pots + lollipop-style lids about a month ago. Started cleaning the two pots and lids immediately using Bar Keeper's Friend paste + powder & scourer pad - I prefer powder to the paste, seems more effective to me.

This pan however, was just not getting clean. The burn marks seem embedded onto the surface, three rounds of scrubbing was just not working. Our go-to degreaser solution for cleaning stainless steel stoves didn't work either, all I ended up with was a pair of peeling palm that were 'catching' on to my fleece blankets & a pan still covered in burn marks all over! I was almost ready to part with it, someone already offered to buy the pan from me 'as-is', for the price I paid for the set.

Lucky Zz saw a video of someone cleaning a very stained stainless steel pot using just baking soda and water. As we are big fans of baking soda in this household - we always have at least a couple of kilo on standby, I knew I must try this!

I placed an 18" aluminum 'kuih' tray on the stove, then filled it with some water, place the copper pan into it, then turned on the heat and topped with more water so the the pan is completely submerged. 

Added a generous amount of baking soda into the water. Let the water come to boil, be aware that the baking soda will bubble up & may boil over, just prepare a thick towel to soak up any liquid spilled.

Let it boil for about 5 minutes, then lower the heat & continue to simmer for another 15 minutes. You will notice at this point that some of the burnt bits would start to come off & be seen floating in the water. The rest will come off easily with just a gentle rub with the scourer.

Once the pan cools down, the remaining stains and tarnish can be effortlessly be cleaned with a bit of BKF powder applied to the pan with a moist scourer pad.

It's amazing seeing how effortlessly the gunky pan transforms into the thing of beauty in these photos! 

I have a huge cauldron ready to boil the two pots & lids plus all the other abused cookware in the kitchen next weekend!