12 March 2024

A year ago today, Baba was admitted to hospital for what we believed was food poisoning from over feasting at the pre Ramadan get-together the day before. 

8 March 2023, screengrabbed from the video Baba made Q record of him - for when I'm gone he said in the video.

This led to multiple hospitalizations, and a life saving surgery plus one after another procedures in effort to make him better. 

Baba beat a lot of odds, everytime I had to sign the release form, my body shakes as I'm reminded of the odds stacked against him, it's always less than 50%, and each time it will work for a bit, then some, most times him not getting worse is already a blessing for us. By grace of Allah, Baba turned 80 while he was in HDU, we celebrated with whispered prayers, to ease his pain and for him to get better if he's meant to.

Prolong stay in the HDU/ICU is never good, there's too many superbugs that you'll catch, making you sicker than you already are. The lung infection that Baba contracted about three weeks post surgery keep making him sicker, and when they had to keep changing the ventilator, we knew that there's not much we can do apart from keeping Baba comfortable and have his final wishes fulfilled, to go home.

After 66 days of being in the ward after the surgery, Baba was brought home for for what we thought was his final hours, but Allah knows best, we were give sixteen days to care and nurse him at home. 

Baba and his two favorite grandsons, they dressed alike in home thobe and decided to take the bus to the city!  - 12 March 2016.

Baba had hundreds of family members and friends visit him in his final days, people from near and far came, some who haven't seen him in decades, all of them had nothing but great things to say about him.

Baba's final days were constantly surrounded by loved ones, my sister and I never left the house from the moment we came home with Baba until we left with him on his final journey.

Baba breath his last, surrounded by us in the wee hours of June the 3rd, 2023, on his eldest grandson 16th birthday which also happens to be the 44th anniversary of his mother, my grandmother Zaynab's passing. We were were devastated, heartbroken would be an understatement, but we gratefully let him go as we know the long illness he had has cleanse him of all sins and he's in a better place now. His final resting home was right between his parents, as his always wished.

Baba, not a day has gone by that I have not think of you, I still expect you to call at 7pm to remind us to pick you up. At times as we are driving up the hill, just before we reach the field, I still wonder if you are home yet and what you'd like for dinner. 

I pray that I will always be Fuad's daughter and takes after all your good traits.

Baba, Aten rindu sangat kat Baba.

Baba and his carbon-copy

Fuad Sheikh Mohd Hussein Rafie 1943 - 2023

It is with great sadness we inform you that our beloved Baba, Haji Fuad bin Sheikh Mohd Hussein Rafie has peacefully passed away at home early this morning at 3.43am, 3 June 2023.

Allayarham Baba's jenazah is now at home in Sungai Ara, Penang.

Insyaallah, his jenazah will be taken to Masjid Hashim Yahya, Jalan Perak at about noon for solat jenazah and he will be laid to rest next to his parents at the Islamic Cemetery Jalan Perak after Zohor prayer today.

May Allah forgive him, have mercy on him and place him in his paradise Al-Firdaus Al-A'la.

'O Allah, forgive him and elevate his station among those who are guided. Send him along the path of those who came before, and forgive us and him, O Lord of the worlds. Enlarge for him his grave and shed light upon him in it.' 

اللهم اغفرله وارحمه وعافيه واعف عنه

Happy 80th Birthday Baba!

I love you so much and I am so proud to have you as my father.

Baba & Faten - August 1974

We wish you are home celebrating this huge milestone with us but we know you are busy battling your biggest battle ever at the moment. You are our warrior, you've beaten so many odds these past couple of months, we just need a bit more miracle with Allah's Rahmah.

Even when we can't constantly be by your side, our du'a are always with you, Baba.

May Allah guide you and ease your pain; and bless you in this life and hereafter. الله أعلم

وَاَيُّوۡبَ اِذۡ نَادٰى رَبَّهٗۤ اَنِّىۡ مَسَّنِىَ الضُّرُّ وَاَنۡتَ اَرۡحَمُ الرّٰحِمِيۡنَ​ ۖ​ۚ‏. فَاسۡتَجَبۡنَا لَهٗ فَكَشَفۡنَا مَا بِهٖ مِنۡ ضُرٍّ​ وَّاٰتَيۡنٰهُ اَهۡلَهٗ و مِثۡلَهُمۡ مَّعَهُمۡ رَحۡمَةً مِّنۡ عِنۡدِنَا وَذِكۡرٰى لِلۡعٰبِدِيۡنَ‏.

"And (remember) Ayyub, when he cried to his Lord "Truly distress has seized me, but Thou art the Most Merciful of those that are merciful. So We listened to him: We removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his people to him, and doubled their number as a Grace from Ourselves, and a thing for commemoration for all who serve Us."

Surah Anbiyaa 83-84

thoughts #261222

In the so-called woke community, adab is often treated as an oppression.

Adab (Arabic: أدب) in the context of behavior, refers to prescribed etiquette: "refinement, good manners, morals, decorum, decency, humaneness". Al-Adab (Arabic: الآداب) has been defined as "decency, morals".

Bullies suffer from inferiority complex

Dear Ujie,

You know why they hated us so much?

Because we were different, most times we are way better than them. We don't conform to their cookie-cutter ideal, so they feel intimidated by it, tak tercapai kalau nak ikut, tak terlawan nak ditanding, so they resort to what make them feel bigger, by bullying and putting us down.

Sama saja the boys, those yang bullied and called you names, sebab depa rasa threatened by you, or more likely some had a crush on you tapi tak tau nak buat apa, so started teasing you and that got out of hand, benda tak elok ni cepat orang ikut.

As for the teachers, apart from one or two sadistic ones, the rest are more comfortable listening and believing 'cerita' from those yang depa rasa depa boleh faham compared to those like you and I, it's simpler for them to label the likes of us as troublemaker and bad influence dari nak siasat the truth. 

These bullies put us down, bully us to break us, so that we either conform or we breakdown and lose who we are meant be. I had to stop letting those cruel things and bad episodes define me, otherwise I wouldn't be able to grow and be happy with my life. 

If I'm going to be sad, I want it to be because of my own mistake or tragedy, not something bullies inflicted on me out of their own insecurities years ago. I  don't want them to live in my head rent-free, and parasitically destroying my fabulous self. 

It wasn't easy Ujie, at times they do pop up and screw me up, but hey! I'm not going to let them control my life anymore. 

Remember I told you how I met some of those bullies and realized how sad they look now? Bukan dah jadi supervillian ka apa pun, just a sad looking makcik who will not even be a quarter of who we are today.

Jiwa depa sakit, that's why depa buat semua tu kat kita, kalau depa normal like they think they are, they wouldn't have done all those things, so toksah menyakitkan jiwa dan diri kita lagi sebab depa sakit jiwa. 

Nak minta depa apologize? What will that get us? Lega? Puas hati? Rasa terbela? All bullying will stop? Silap silap lepas depa dah apologies satni kita dok fikir pulak, depa ikhlas ka minta maaf, or depa do so just to make fun of us, hence the vicious cycle continues. 35 years later they are still 'bullying' us, only this time we are enabling them, giving them the power to do so. We have suffered long enough to let them continue doing that. Imagine the great things that we are meant to achieve and know that it's not too late to achieve it.

Panjang dah aku merepek ni. Hugs to you Ujie, insyaallah soon all these will just be a bad memory that will no longer haunt you, and me.

Love you.

Wake me up from this nightmare

My beautiful manja girl crossed the rainbow bridge suddenly and unexpectedly while in my arms at 1230am as we were rushing her to the clinic just now.

.

She gave me 453 days of unconditional love, a cat that turned up at our gate one day and chose me as her person, clinging to me every second she sees me, sleeping on my chest, back and side every opportunity she gets, pulling my hand so that she can use it as a pillow as she sleeps by my side on the bed, nibbling on my fingers if I try to pull away. Constantly pulling up her body unto my chest to kiss my face,  jumping onto my lap to make cookies just like she did the first day I saw her in our garden. There's no denying it was love at the first sight for both of us.

.

That's 1 year, 2 months and 25 days that she filled our lives with joy and love. Never have I felt this much love and affection from a cat.

.

Everything happened so quick, she looked like she was recovering well from the simple procedure, this afternoon she was beginning to eat and using the litter box, then by nightfall she has started to become restless, and everything just went downhill by 1130pm.

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Goodbye darling Cleopatra Grey, thank you for everything you've brought into our lives. We love you so much Theo, my beautiful  manja girl. Thank you for choosing me and our home, for allowing us to care and love you. Thank you for letting Uncle, Jaddu, Jeddah, Abang H, Abang Q and Shereen share the love too.

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Latte is going to miss you so much Cleo, she had a very confused look just now when she saw me cradling your lifeless body, she was sniffing you and looking at me, like she's asking what's going on.

.

I'm devastated. We are all heartbroken. 

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I'm still waiting to wake up from this nightmare.

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Till we meet again in heaven.

.

Cleopatra Grey

2019 - 25 February 2021

How to Clean Dirty Copper Pots & Pans

Got this french vintage copper pan along with a couple of pots + lollipop-style lids about a month ago. Started cleaning the two pots and lids immediately using Bar Keeper's Friend paste + powder & scourer pad - I prefer powder to the paste, seems more effective to me.

This pan however, was just not getting clean. The burn marks seem embedded onto the surface, three rounds of scrubbing was just not working. Our go-to degreaser solution for cleaning stainless steel stoves didn't work either, all I ended up with was a pair of peeling palm that were 'catching' on to my fleece blankets & a pan still covered in burn marks all over! I was almost ready to part with it, someone already offered to buy the pan from me 'as-is', for the price I paid for the set.

Lucky Zz saw a video of someone cleaning a very stained stainless steel pot using just baking soda and water. As we are big fans of baking soda in this household - we always have at least a couple of kilo on standby, I knew I must try this!

I placed an 18" aluminum 'kuih' tray on the stove, then filled it with some water, place the copper pan into it, then turned on the heat and topped with more water so the the pan is completely submerged. 

Added a generous amount of baking soda into the water. Let the water come to boil, be aware that the baking soda will bubble up & may boil over, just prepare a thick towel to soak up any liquid spilled.

Let it boil for about 5 minutes, then lower the heat & continue to simmer for another 15 minutes. You will notice at this point that some of the burnt bits would start to come off & be seen floating in the water. The rest will come off easily with just a gentle rub with the scourer.

Once the pan cools down, the remaining stains and tarnish can be effortlessly be cleaned with a bit of BKF powder applied to the pan with a moist scourer pad.

It's amazing seeing how effortlessly the gunky pan transforms into the thing of beauty in these photos! 

I have a huge cauldron ready to boil the two pots & lids plus all the other abused cookware in the kitchen next weekend!

Nasi Kandar - Lauk Bawah Meja

13/6/2020

1:02pm

Kedai nasi kandar yang legend kadang kadang ada lauk 'secret' specialty yang tak ramai yang tau, contohnya Nasi Kandar Tamil Street dulu ada limpa and Nasi Kandar Sirajudeen (depan Caltex Transfer Road - kedai asal bapa Deen Maju) ada gulai sembilang - yang ni kena pi awal, kalau tak tinggal kuah saja.

Yang penting, lauk special tu kena memang exceptional sedap baru boleh diambil kira, macam gulai sembilang, limpa dan perut kambing dan teloq sotong yang memang syur. Kalau takat kobis goreng, sotong, ketam, atau udang goreng tepung, or sausage masak sos(!), tu semua bukan lauk hidden specialty nasi kandaq!

So, memang betui lauk asas wajib nasi kandaq adalah daging hitam, gulai ikan, telur dan bendi, setiap kedai akan ada special dish dia sendiri, jangan lupa ayam goreng dan ayam gulai pun bukan lauk asas nasi kandaq, tapi dah evolve cukup lama untuk diterima sebagai lauk asas nasi kandaq.

Harap hampa semua jangan triggered na, tapi adik abang kakak semua, hampa toksah dok buat lecey kata lauk nasi kandaq gulai sembilang tu merepek semua na, sebab lauk specialty memang wujud sebagai tarikan tambahan.

Tepuk dada tanya selera.

(Tambahan)

Kalau nasib baik, ada masa mamak tanya nak tak lauk underground yang dia simpan bawah meja, sembilang karang atau teloq ikan!

p/s: weekend ni kami rehat sat makan nasi kandaq, bagi peluang pada yang rentas sempadan cari nasi kandaq selepas tiga bulan kena quarantine 😉😅

Life, regret?

Funny thing this regret, given a chance we will always go back and have another go at it. It must be coded into our genes to relish in the memory of pain.

Betrayal can only come from a friend

...at the end of the day darling, you've got to trust to learn about betrayal.

Fuad's Bukhari Rice

Thirty years mission accomplished!

I finally am able to make Bukhari Rice almost as good as my father's famous one! 

It all started with a last minute request by my cousin last week, for me to cook dinner for the clan and send it over to Sungai Petani. She was specific, she wanted Bukhari Rice and it has to be with beef, the rest is up to me. I knew I had to make the dish, as my uncle who was unwell really love it. 

Luck has it my regular meat guy closes on Tuesday, and so began the great hunt for beef ribs that took us to 3 markets and 4 butcher shops - apparently Penangites are more into mutton and lambs these days! 

Mama and I, with help from Zz and the two boys made from scratch the Bukhari Rice with beef ribs and briskets, Pan Sheet Grilled Chicken with Gravy, two types of salads and salsa sauce for forty people in under 4 hours. It was really exhausting, but the result was really worth it.

And this time I managed to write down the recipe that has been passed down for many generations verbally, and in 'guesstimate' measurement. Even Mama's versions are hits and misses, most time they don't pass Baba's finicky tastebuds, which can leads to some sulking, but that's another story.

When the whole house started to smell just like when Baba cooks, we knew we have hit jackpot! 

And later when Baba tasted it, I saw in the midst of pride, a moment of sadness in his eyes when he said, "People will not remember me anymore".

I'm glad that it was a success, more so when my Ami Radzi gave me thumbs up and said "Sedap macam selalu" eventhough he was in pain from the cuts and bruises on his face.

Yesterday I recreated the recipe, on my own this time, for 10 people, just for us at home. I'd say I'm almost 80% there. Maybe because I made it with just brisket, hence no deep flavor from rib bones, maybe because I removed most of the oil from the stock, maybe I  added too much orange peel because the orange is too big, maybe because I didn't use the right type of shallots. 

Maybe, mine will never be as good as Baba's, he is after all a legend around here.

Happiness

 "If your happiness only depends on positive happenings, you might not be happy that often, because a lot of shit happens as well. Better to base our happiness on more stable factors, such as the constant beauty of nature, the energy of positive vibes and being a good friend to ourselves and others." 

— Sereno Sky, Lonely Traveller

Nosey Miss Latte

Our little Miss had a little misadventure yesterday. 

We thought the glue traps we set up for the shrew were all very well hidden in the darkest corner under the lowest  cabinet, away from prying whiskers and nosey paws. 

Well apparently we didn't do a very good job, because within minutes of being let out of her 'apartment' Bibik M could hear a commotion out in the living hall. Latte has somehow managed to get one of the trap boards out from the cabinet and have it stuck on her right foot! 

She was struggling to get it off and won't let Bibik M help her, eventually ending up outside my bedroom crying for help while I was in the shower. She finally surrendered to Bibik M who proceed to remove the board from her leg and rub loads of cooking oil to help remove the glue. 

Poor baby was whimpering when Bibik M took her upstairs to me. I applied more oil, let glue 'soak' for another 30 minutes and gave Latte's foot a proper rub with dish washing liquid and gave her a warm bath which she really enjoys and helped her calm down. 

And Bibik M who spoils her worse than I do, waited by her side as she sun bath to dry off fur. 

She appears alright now, just some part of her fur still has some oil residue, hence it looks like she's ungroomed. 

Happy to report that she's back to chewing on our arms and fingers, chasing after her balls as usual, and there's absolutely no problem with her appetite either! 

#sirkitlatte #catsofarariver #shestoosmartforherowngood

Drinks for your guests

There's an old Arab verse that my late grandfather used to say which goes,

"When guest comes over for a visit, serve them 'sherbet' (cool drink) if you want your guest to leave quickly. They will drink and leave immediately. However, if you want your guest to stay, serve them tea, they drink and chat, and friends will become family."

I grew up practising the Irish or rather the Arab way, then went on the the American way in my younger days when guest are just dropping by or on rushing off to another place.

Now as I get older and guests and friends are more relaxed, they visit and sit down for chats, there's always hot tea or coffee, with copious amount of water for them. On hot days, there's extra cold drinks too. And I always ask their preference, hot or cold drink or water at least. Plus if they are lucky, the next meal will be at my place too 😉

Gosh, I am turning into my grandfather!

In Ireland, you go to someone's house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank you, you're really just fine. She asks if you're sure. You say of course you're sure, really, you don't need a thing. Except they pronounce it ting. You don't need a ting. Well, she says then, I was going to get myself some anyway, so it would be no trouble. Ah, you say, well, if you were going to get yourself some, I wouldn't mind a spot of tea, at that, so long as it's no trouble and I can give you a hand in the kitchen. Then you go through the whole thing all over again until you both end up in the kitchen drinking tea and chatting.

In America, someone asks you if you want a cup of tea, you say no, and then you don't get any damned tea.

I liked the Irish way better.
~CE Murphy, Urban Shaman

“Tea” Mixed Media Drawing on Antique Dictinary Page" by Kristy Patterson Flying Shoes Art Studio (etsy.com/shop/flyingshoes)

Khai Jeow Cha Om & Pla Too with Namprik Kapi

Khai Jeow Cha Om & Pla Too with  Namprik Kapi (Acacia Omelette &Mackerel with Shrimp Paste Dipping Sauce)

'Cha om' is a mimosa-like leaves of the acacia shrub. It has a very distinctive smell and flavor, much like a very mild 'petai' (stinky bean). It's often made into omelette, though you can also make a simple stir-fry with shrimp and chili paste.

I first encountered 'cha om' at a Hatyai market over a decade ago. I actually mistook it for fern tips, so I bought home two huge bundle as the lady was selling it for almost a song. The whole journey home I was grumbling that someone must have bought a lot of 'petai' and it's stinking the whole bus, little did I know it was the bundles by my feet!

Upon reaching Penang and realizing that it's not fern tips after all, I decided to consult my grand aunt Maryam who's a Thai on how to best cook 'cha om'. She suggested making omelette, in stirfry and also  Kaengsom, a sour Thai curry.

A few years later I found that there's actually a 'cha om' plant at the Pasir Mas home. My MIL told me that they used to eat this raw with sambal, but not many do these days. I tried to harvest some, but it's just too hard as the shrub is tall and full of thorns. And stripping the leaves tip from the main stalk left my hands full of bloody pricks.

Since then I have not come across this vegetable in any market here in Malaysia at all, until last Thursday at the market. 

The omelette is quite easy and quick to make. Add chopped 'cha om' tip to beaten eggs, season with fish sauce and a tiny bit of sugar. Fry the omelette in copious amount of hot oil, the traditional Thai way.

The shrimp paste dipping sauce, which very much like the Malaysian 'sambal belacan' is similarly made by pounding fermented shrimp paste, Thai bird's eye chili, garlic, shallot and palm sugar in a pestle and mortar, finishing it with lime juice.

Serve Cha Om Omelette and Namprik Kapi with fried or grilled mackerel, salted egg along with fresh and blanched vegetables.

#athenecooks #thaifood #traditionalthaidish #chaomomelette #namprikkapi #KhaiJeowChaOm #shrimppastedippingsauce #cookingfromscratch #cleaneating #southeastasiancooking #simplefood #30minutemeals

Nasi Ulam Utara

The lady that I usually get my Asian herbs at the market makes 'nasi ulam' herb bundles every Friday. Each bundle consist of fifteen different herbs, half of which I am not familiar with. Of course I couldn't resist getting one, seeing how fresh and fragrant they are.

Even though I grew up eating 'nasi ulam' whenever I visit my mom's sister, it's not a dish I've made before. I am in fact more familiar with the east coast style of rice salad, the 'Nasi Kerabu', which I learned to make from my mother in law and have even taught during my classes.

So a couple of days ago I made my very first ever 'Nasi Ulam Utara' with the herb bundle I got from the market, plus about a dozen more herb and spices from my kitchen garden. We even made 'kerisek' from scratch and fire-grilled the 'ikan talang masin' before pounding it in a pestle and mortar.

Can't believe it was such a big hit, we made two huge bowls and everyone went for seconds and thirds. Personally I think I need a few more practice run to get the flavor right. Looks like we will be having this quite often now.

 

I am a home cook, not a chef

I cringe every time I am addressed as chef, and I will correct everyone who addresses me as such. I know I am not a chef.

Being a chef requires years of training and hard work plus high-level of skills, all those that you'd have to earn. I am very far from that, hence I am not a chef.

I think it's insulting to the profession when everyone working in the kitchen (especially non professional ones) get addressed as chef. Just because there's no professional body awarding the title, people should not be too liberal in handing them out. Not everyone who cooks are chef, being a cook is wonderful and such an honor too. After all, chef are cook too.

I remember the first few times I was addressed as chef, I was quite offended as I felt that I was being made fun of. It took me some time to accept that they are just very liberal in addressing people who are in the culinary world as chef. I know I am still not a chef, so I will keep correcting them.

I am not a chef, I am a home cook, and proud of it.

The Difference Between a Cook and a Chef

G. Stephen Jones • June 15, 2011 •

Do You Know The Difference Between a Professional Chef and a Cook?

To most people, a cook and a chef are the same thing. The two terms are used interchangeably to indicate someone working away in the kitchen, regardless of whether that individual is cutting vegetables or masterminding the entire menu.

For those who work in the culinary field, however, there is a big difference. Although there is no single professional organization that determines exactly who is a chef and who is a cook, most agree that the difference lies in education and experience.

If you have a culinary degree and/or trained under a notable chef and have moved up the ranks, you are typically considered a chef. If you simply dabble in the kitchen at home or are just starting out at the bottom of the restaurant totem pole, you are almost always considered a cook.

What Makes a Cook a Cook?

Most people agree that a cook is lower-ranking than a chef, and that chefs themselves vary in rank. For example, an executive chef is the top of the line, while sous chefs, chefs de partie, and other professionals might have the right training, but are still working toward their top professional goals.

If you still aren’t sure exactly what it is that makes a chef a chef, consider these qualifications:

 A two- or four-year culinary degree

 Extensive training under a chef with the goal of gaining a culinary education equal to that of a degree (also known as a culinary apprenticeship)

 Responsibilities that include a supervisory role

 The ability to create and implement menus in a restaurant setting

 Management roles in the kitchen

A cook, on the other hand, can expect to:

 Prepare food on a daily basis

 Perform kitchen duties, as needed and directed

 Clean and wash the kitchen

 Use recipes and follow someone else’s menu plan

 Still be at the learning level of his or her career

There are some culinary institutions (including the American Culinary Federation) that offer designations and titles based on testing, work experience, and education. Although many organizations and restaurants recognize these distinctions (and will boost your career accordingly), they aren’t required to be a chef or to be successful in your own culinary career.

In most cases, the cook is below the chef in terms of prestige, pay, and career development. However, there are instances in which this isn’t true. Many home cooks or amateurs have skills and experience that surpass that of their chef counterparts; they simply may not make claim to the title.

Famous Cooks vs. Famous Chefs

In fact, many of the celebrity chefs we have come to know and love as a culture aren’t really chefs at all. Rachael Ray and Nigella Lawson are two of the biggest names in the culinary and Hollywood world, but both women profess that they aren’t trained chefs…and have never pretended to be anything other than cooks. Self-trained, self-motivated, and never having worked in a long-term chef capacity (such as overseeing a restaurant), they are just two examples of cooks who have hit it big.

Mama's surprise 60th

Mama's surprise 60th birthday get together. Best part of it all, all her siblings turned up, even her sister who lives in KL!

A million thanks to all my co-conspirators. Tak sangka ramai betui turned up, sampai kena masak nasik tambah!

Happy Birthday Mama!

  

Aeyna & TokChik