'Adik sakit jantung'

After two weeks of letting him do as his wish of not going to school, we had to put our foot down, so yesterday and today we dragged him to school. Both episodes are different, yesterday the struggle was in school, first with Zz then with the two teachers. Once in class he was okay and was chattering away when we went to pick him up after school.

There's no bullying by fellow students nor teachers. We have checked many many times. And as one of the teachers said, he's an exemplary student, penyejuk hati and one of the smartest kid in class, and the neatest and best dressed one too. They are concerned that he's unhappy to go to school.

Today's episode begin right as we wake him up. He refused to get in the car, had to force him in. Then begin the attempt to escape which includes cry for sympathy from mom and grandma, kicking, struggling, pinching and scratching Zz, hitting the car window, screams of 'Adik sakit jantung', 'Why nak paksa adik, adik tak suka' and ultimately biting me in my upper arm. The bite went through my T-shirt and broke skin as he bit and tore. Wails turned to sobs, I even hear him apologizing, saying that he didn't realize what's he's doing, but he promises not to do it anymore - the biting part, not the not going to school part, this one keeps his promises, so he won't promise that yet.

I had to hold him down the whole five minutes drive (which felt like hours). Three quarter of the way I heard between sobs that he wants to sit with the counselling teacher and not go to class. I agreed and told him to stop crying and struggling. That's when he settled down.

We waited for everyone to be done with the assembly, only then we drove into the school compound as we were still concerned that he may run into the busy road.

Half willingly, with no struggle but sulk worth a crate of lemon, he went to the counselling room. The counsellor has him now, so let's see what tomorrow may bring.

He's the kind yang 'simpan dalam hati', and now reacting to the things that happened in his life recently. Yes, it's heartbreaking, but he can no longer not be in school. It's sad, our strong and firm Q has to express his emotions this way. We also know that one of the catalyst for him to act out this way was when adults are very selfish and act without thinking, no worries we have dealt with that. It's a matter of convincing him that he will no longer be bothered in school by 'unwanted' visitors. Insyaallah we'll weather this together, bites, bruises and all.

We are on the way into the city to get Kevlar lined shirt.